Hyperbole Is My Middle Name!

jonbershad: republicanidiots: Here’s Mitt sucking the life...

Sat, 26 May 2012 02:06:34 -0400

jonbershad:

republicanidiots:

Here’s Mitt sucking the life essence from a human child.

Once per city, a life must be sacrificed.

The expression on that baby’s face is my favorite expression.

MY HEART MY BEATING HEART! (Ellen DeGeneres’ first...

Fri, 25 May 2012 15:42:52 -0400

MY HEART MY BEATING HEART!

(Ellen DeGeneres’ first appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.)

johnrossbowie: akseabird: Happy Super 42 Day! it was just...

Fri, 25 May 2012 13:16:31 -0400

johnrossbowie:

akseabird:

Happy Super 42 Day!

it was just pointed out to me that the sum of 5 and 25 and 12 is …

anyway, I devoured this book in 9th grade.

My hero and king.

kelsium: I’ve been thinking a bit about that “women can’t be funny at work” article. I do joke a...

Fri, 25 May 2012 11:50:05 -0400

kelsium:

I’ve been thinking a bit about that “women can’t be funny at work” article. I do joke a lot in meetings. In internal meetings, I joke and people laugh. My department is mostly women. In mixed meetings with external clients, I get a lot of blank stares. Often, men from other companies seem surprised that I am even speaking to them. My guess is that the solution, as fucking usual, would be to have more women in business and management. Funny how that evens the playing field of office interaction.

That article is pretty annoying, if only because it’s reminding me how frustrating and soul-murdering I find traditional corporate environments. I tend to retreat back and only joke a little bit (but when I do it is often very weird or off-beat) and everyone still looks at me like I’m crazy. It’s mostly why I had to stop lying and just tell people I was a comedian at my various day jobs—I literally couldn’t not tell them, even though almost every conversation I would have about non-work stuff would result in awkward, terrible conversations about comedy and suggestions for my ‘act’.

In conclusion, corporate America is uniformly and thoroughly terrible, and I can’t survive in a non-comedy / non-web start-up environment, so I hope I don’t witness a terrible crime and have to go into witness protection in like Utah or some shit.

"The institution of marriage is not under attack as a result of the President’s words. Marriage was..."

Fri, 25 May 2012 11:28:13 -0400

“The institution of marriage is not under attack as a result of the President’s words. Marriage was under attack years ago by men who viewed women as property and children as trophies of sexual prowess. Marriage is under attack by low wages, high incarceration, unfair tax policy, unemployment, and lack of education. Marriage is under attack by clergy who proclaim monogamy yet think nothing of stepping outside the bonds of marriage to have multiple affairs with “preaching groupies.””

- Rev. Otis Moss III, Senior Pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ (via touchoftea)

the-absolute-funniest-posts: rosiebeck: This is the best video...

Thu, 24 May 2012 21:17:59 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

rosiebeck:

This is the best video in existence. Your argument is invalid.

You guys… I do the same thing.

My song is different though.

Ugh.

Thu, 24 May 2012 18:30:05 -0400

Ugh.

http://www.fudsmenu.com/

Thu, 24 May 2012 17:37:58 -0400

http://www.fudsmenu.com/:

bananacalamari:

kellyqehudson:

Check out the full menu, folks. :)

If you haven’t read this yet you don’t deserve the panty slaw.

The Shitty Chicken was really bad.

jesslane: asyoulikelikeit: ‘Scottish glumness’ and 90s...

Thu, 24 May 2012 16:17:02 -0400

jesslane:

asyoulikelikeit:

‘Scottish glumness’ and 90s nostalgia and beards and plaid shirts and a beat up guitar. This shit is kind of firing on all cylinders. Creating a combustion engine of HEARTBREAK.

I mean, this song already kills me. Also, if you don’t know about the Undercover sessions, what sad rock are you living under? Watch all of these!! All years of them!

Do other people I know like Frightened Rabbit? I straight up can’t get enough of earnest emotional voices singing in accents, eff why eye. I love this.

classof1969: moveslikemacca: PAUL MCCARTNEY 1965-2011...

Thu, 24 May 2012 13:32:51 -0400

classof1969:

moveslikemacca:

PAUL MCCARTNEY 1965-2011 COMPARISON

this was almost painful to watch wow i want to cry

I thought this was wonderful. And fucking impressive!

funknfive: popculturebrain: Ben Schwartz, Justin Long, Adam...

Thu, 24 May 2012 13:15:30 -0400

funknfive:

popculturebrain:

Ben Schwartz, Justin Long, Adam Scott, Zach Woods, Chad Carter, and Neil Casey did improv at UCBNY last night. And you missed it.

(via Schwartz on Instagram, ht @robbie_freeman)

! Katey!

I took the bottom left picture on Ben’s phone from the booth. Turns out it’s impossible to take good pictures from the booth you guys!

Also the 4S takes SIGNIFICANTLY nicer pictures and also I died.

neil-gaiman: I am convinced that this Peter Serafinowicz rock...

Thu, 24 May 2012 13:07:26 -0400

neil-gaiman:

I am convinced that this Peter Serafinowicz rock video for Hot Chip is secretly an episode of Doctor Who. I strongly suspect that I think that this means that Reggie Watts should be the Doctor. Unless it means that Terence Stamp should be the Doctor. (Or is Terence Stamp the Master?)

I am glad that Neil Gaiman knows about Reggie Watts, but I still think it’s weird that Neil Gaiman knows about Reggie Watts.

natesmithnews: Jim-A-Date (Nate-A-Day) for May 24th!! Yeah I...

Thu, 24 May 2012 11:55:04 -0400

natesmithnews:

Jim-A-Date (Nate-A-Day) for May 24th!!

Yeah I really like this one.

@rejectedjokes, Neil Casey, Justin Long and Adam Scott. (Taken...

Thu, 24 May 2012 01:45:51 -0400

@rejectedjokes, Neil Casey, Justin Long and Adam Scott. (Taken with instagram)

Apt. Top post by the inimitable Kelsium. Follow her, dumb-dumbs.

Thu, 24 May 2012 01:19:00 -0400

Apt.

Top post by the inimitable Kelsium. Follow her, dumb-dumbs.

Oh you know just freaking out about having SHAKEN ADAM...

Thu, 24 May 2012 01:00:00 -0400

Oh you know just freaking out about having SHAKEN ADAM SCOTT’S HAND. (Taken with instagram)

THAT’S RIGHT WHAT WHAT I GOT TWO BUTTS!

Thu, 24 May 2012 00:44:22 -0400

THAT’S RIGHT WHAT WHAT I GOT TWO BUTTS!

thedailywhat: Kickass Kid of the Day: A Maryland-based...

Wed, 23 May 2012 20:58:39 -0400

thedailywhat:

Kickass Kid of the Day: A Maryland-based scientist has developed an incredibly accurate mechanism for detecting pancreatic cancer, which is faster than current methods, as well as 100 times more sensitive and 28 times cheaper. Oh, and the scientist is 15 years old.

For his discovery, high school freshman Jack Andraka just won the Gordon E. Moore Award at the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair, which comes with a $75,000 prize.

Andraka’s method uses single-walled carbon nanotubes — which he calls “the superheroes of material science” — to detect a pancreatic cancer marker in urine and blood samples. In a blind test, it had a 100% success rate.

“I did not expect for it to be this good,” he said, “I was blown away by how sensitive it was.”

[huffpo.]

Yoboy… I bet my old place of work is fucking freaking the fuck out right now.

betabetabeatbeat: “Is venture capital a sexist industry?”...

Wed, 23 May 2012 19:44:43 -0400

betabetabeatbeat:

“Is venture capital a sexist industry?” -David Kirkpatrick, moderating the all-male investing panel at TechCrunch Disrupt

Significant face.

garlandgrey: bulletpr88f: another one of my favorites. also...

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:45:19 -0400

garlandgrey:

bulletpr88f:

another one of my favorites. also read this a couple years ago. i plan to read it again.

“Rotterdam Home, a hospice where teenagers with terminal illnesses went to die, was home to the Midnight Club—a group of five young men and women who met at midnight and told stories of intrigue and horror. One night they made a pact that the first of them to die would make every effort to contact the others … from beyond the grave.”

In one of the stories this girl who had left for the big nasty city gets invited to a threeway with her boyfriend and another dude and declines and the narrator says something like “I guess you can only get so far away from home” or something like that.”

Which isn’t true at all.

… I do not remember that story at ALL, GG. You might be thinking of another one, this was a really sad book. They all die!