Hyperbole Is My Middle Name!

I'm a comedian and improviser living in NYC. The Fascinator is my show at the UCB East Village Theatre. It's a comedy panel show featuring obscure knowledge as examined by hilarious people! Fair warning, my tumblr is mostly about things I am angry or excited about, and weird things I find on the internet.
Who I Follow

preservearchives:

PEP (Persons of Exceptional Prominence) Spot Light:  Lieutenant (JG) Harriet Pickens (1909-1969) & Ensign Frances Wills (1916-1998)

In honor of African American Women’s History Month, we are highlighting the first two African American women who were commissioned as officers in the armed services.  Lieutenant Pickens and Ensign Wills were commissioned in the United States Navy on December 21, 1944.

Lieutenant Harriet Pickens, a public health administrator with a master’s degree in Political Science from Columbia University, was the daughter of William Pickens, one of the founders of the NAACP.  Prior to her military service, Harriet was the Executive Secretary of the Harlem Tuberculosis and Health Committee of the New York Tuberculosis and Health Association.  In addition to this position, she was a supervisor of recreation programs in the New Deal’s WPA (Works Project Administration). 

Ensign Frances Wills was a native of Philadelphia and graduate of Hunter College.  While Frances pursued her MA in Social Work at the University of Pittsburgh, she worked with famed African American poet, Langston Hughes.  She worked in an adoption agency, placing children in adoptive homes.   Her experiences as a pioneering naval officer led Frances to eventually write the book Navy Blue and Other Colors under her married name, Frances Wills Thorpe.

Obviously, these were two accomplished and well educated women, highly qualified to serve their country as military officers in time of war.  It was only their race that stood in their way and the remarkable pair would help to tear that barrier down.  They were sworn in as apprentice seamen in the US Navy in November 1944. 

After receiving their commissions a month later, both Harriet and Frances serviced at the Hunter Naval Training Station in Bronx, NY, the main training facility for enlisted WAVES (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service) recruits.  Harriet Pickens led physical training sessions up until her death in 1969 at the age of 60.  Frances Wills taught naval history and administered classification tests.  She died in 1998.

Lieutenant Pickens’ and Ensign Wills’ military files are two of the records in our PEPs (Persons of Exceptional Prominence) collection at the National Archives at St. Louis. Due to the high volume of attention and research on their military career, Lieutenant Pickens and Ensign Wills’ record was placed in the PEP collection and digitally copied. The Preservation Programs at St. Louis treats and stabilizes PEP records by placing the documents in polyester film sleeves, removing fasteners and staples and undertaking any required repair actions that will extend the life of the documents. An entire record is then scanned and placed on DVDs so researchers can access exact replicas, thus preventing damage to the original documents.

We are proud to highlight the lives and achievements of these two courageous women who in the face of segregation and hatred overcame and changed the face of the United States armed forces forever.

(via kelsium)

So I had to learn. All my life. The hard way. And the hard way’s pretty hard, but not so hard as the easy way.

Granny Weatherwax, Lords & Ladies

(via hachi-mitsu-semi)

Johnnie Phelps, a woman sergeant in the army, thought, “There was a tolerance for lesbianism if they needed you. The battalion I was in was probably about ninety-seven percent lesbian.”
Sergeant Phelps worked for General Eisenhower. Four decades after Eisenhower had defeated the Axis powers, Phelps recalled an extraordinary event. One day, the general told her, “I’m giving you an order to ferret those lesbians out. We’re going to get rid of them.”
“I looked at him and then I looked at his secretary who was standing next to me, and I said, ‘Well, sir, if the general pleases, sir, I’ll be happy to do this investigation for you. But you have to know that the first name on the list will be mine.’ “
“And he was kind of taken aback a bit. And then this women standing next to me said, ‘Sir, if the General pleases, you must be aware that Sergeant Phelp’s name may be second, but mine will be first.”
“Then I looked at him, and said, ‘Sir, you’re right. They’re lesbians in the WAC battalion. And if the general is prepared to replace all the file clerks, all the section commanders, all the drivers-every woman in the WAC detachment-and there were about nine hundred and eighty something of us-then I’ll be happy to make that list. But I think the general should be aware that among those women are the most highly decorated women in the war. There have been no cases of illegal pregnancy. There have been no cases of AWOL. There have been no cases of misconduct. And as a matter of fact, every six months since we’ve been here, the general has awarded us a commendation for meritorious conduct.”
“And he said, ‘Forget the order.’”

The Gay Metropolis, page 47, Charles Kaiser (via bibliothekara)

Phelps tells this story herself in the excellent 1984 documentary Before Stonewall, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube (she’s at 19:30, but really, watch the whole thing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX7AxQd82H8

(via theodoradove)

(via kelsium)

Asker sebsational Asks:
Will you get me some Pop-Tarts from the kitchen?
khealywu khealywu Said:

uncannybrettwhite:

More of this.

fozmeadows: scienceofsarcasm:

Evening Post: August 12, 1899.
"She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…”

I would love to know what this means.

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

(via erikawithac)

hallekiefer:

ryanxilliams:

"Scully Likes Science"

Flawless.

hellsatmyfeet:

"antiquarian booksellers George Koppelman and Daniel Wechsler conclude that the annotations in their copy of Baret’s Alvearie purchased on eBay belong to William Shakespeare. Using example after example, the authors demonstrate how closely the annotations and Baret’s text are tied to Shakespeare’s own work. The annotator, while not once leaving his name on a page, nevertheless leaves behind an astonishing personal trail of fingerprints."

IS THIS NOT THE COOLEST THING?

HOLY SHIT.

It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black-and-white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”
“There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.”
“It’s a lot more complicated than that-“
“No. It ain’t. When people say things are more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes-“
“But they starts with thinking about people as things.

Granny Weatherwax to Mightily Oats (from Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett)

I’ve posted this before, copied by hand because I couldn’t find in the format I wanted.

It’s when you treat people as things. That’s where it starts.

(via erikawithac)

hallekiefer:

sarahchristine:

laineydiemond:

zzbbtt:

i dont think i’ll ever stop reblogging this shit

OMG

who is this perfect human

I forgot if I reblogged this before, but if not.

lifesizedtales:

I adore this man.

Ugh look at Dawkins’ stupid smirking little shitface.

lifesizedtales:

I adore this man.

Ugh look at Dawkins’ stupid smirking little shitface.

(via -periodic-meltdowns-)

snapchatting:

life is easy, son. it’s just like riding a bike that’s on fire and you’re on fire and everything is on fire and you’re in hell

And there are patches of slippery motor oil and rains of salt and lemon juice and self loathing at regular intervals.

(via sebsational)

thereal1990s:

Men In Black (1997)

I think about this scene all the time.

(via thomasmwilson)

thisismyfavoritesong:

uncannybrettwhite:

sebsational:

How I almost signed over my entire life to Applebee’s for a gift card of an indeterminate amount.

Also their last tweet. Who do they think I am? I went to COLLEGE.

This is NUTS. 

What kind of scam is Applebee’s running, y’all?! There’s something rotten in the usually otherwise delicious Brew Pub Pretzels & Beer Cheese Dip.

What I’ve been up to today.

This is just incredible.