Hyperbole Is My Middle Name!

I'm a comedian and improviser living in NYC. The Fascinator is my show at the UCB East Village Theatre. It's a comedy panel show featuring obscure knowledge as examined by hilarious people! Fair warning, my tumblr is mostly about things I am angry or excited about, and weird things I find on the internet.
Who I Follow

thecelestialchild:

askulloffoxes:

fightingforanimals:

The woman on the left is a mother from Miami who was so desperate to feed her hungry family that she was trying to steal a lot of food.

The woman on the right is Miami-Dade County Police Officer Vicki Thomas. Officer Thomas was about to arrest Jessica Robles but changed her mind at the last minute.

Instead of arresting her, she bought Robles $100 worth of groceries:

“I made the decision to buy her some groceries because arresting her wasn’t going to solve the problem with her children being hungry.”

And there’s no denying they were hungry. Robles’ 12 year old daughter started crying when she told local TV station WSVN about how dire their situation was:

“[It’s] not fun to see my brother in the dirt hungry, asking for food, and we have to tell him, ‘There is nothing here.’”

Officer Thomas says she has no question that what she did was right:

“To see them go through the bags when we brought them in, it was like Christmas. That $100 to me was worth it.”

But Officer Thomas did have one request:

“The only thing I asked of her is, when she gets on her feet, that she help someone else out. And she said she would.”

And guess what? The story gets even better.

After word got out about what happened people donated another $700 for Jessica Robles to spend at the grocery store.

And then best of all a local business owner invited her in for an interview and ended up hiring her on the spot as a customer service rep.

She started crying when he told her:

“There’s no words how grateful I am that you took your time and helped somebody out. Especially somebody like me.”

And to think it all started with one veteran police officer trusting her “instinct” instead of going “by the book”.

Source

I N S T I N C T

This.

(via hijabeng)

slayboybunny:

ya hes cute…….but is he conscientious of the social inequalities and corruption in hierarchies of power that plague this world

(via hijabeng)

This long weekend sure was a doozy!

This reality is a bit harder to swallow: There are more white people in the US and Canada because the US and Canada were established using the systematic genocide of Native peoples, the theft of Native lands, and the labour of enslaved peoples in the past and immigrant peoples currently who were and are never meant to stay or survive.

And now you’re uncomfortable. Good.

When you accept and acknowledge that census figures reflect a long history of marginalization, it is preposterous to use these same figures as the benchmark to which you measure the inclusion of marginalized people.

There’s a great piece in the Toast about representation and diversity (‘Proportional Representation’ Has No Place In Diversity Discussions by Léonicka Valcius) today. (via whineandbeer)

(via erikawithac)

Don’t get too high and mighty, ladies. Don’t step out of line. Don’t do anything to upset or disappoint men who feel entitled to your time, bodies, affection or attention. Your bared body can always be used as a weapon against you. You bared body can always be used to shame and humiliate you. Your bared body is at once desired and loathed.

(via kbmurphy)

Topbuttoning

I got food poisoning twice, 4 weeks apart. I’m basically a more sweary Gordon Ramsay.

(via kelsium)

frakintosh:

Baby Scully was the best. So is Adult Scully.

Legally, all Scullys are the best Scullys.

MARVEL + bad ass women

I don’t know much about She-Hulk, but in general, yes.

(via brenttharshman)

Yes, perfect, great job Tumblr.

hellsatmyfeet:

Do you like cute stuff? Do you know anyone that does? Maybe you/them want to buy a painting because I am losing my health insurance in two days and have a chronic illness that still needs to be monitored with whooaaa expensive bloodwork?? Any help is appreciated! CLICK HERE for my store xoxo 

But some cool art, ya nerds!

kelsium:

If the reputation of cops is so important to you, then why aren’t you throwing every single bad cop to the wolves to protect that reputation? If being a “good cop” emphasizes loyalty to shit cops over competence and human decency, then you can just fucking live with people saying cops are shit.

(via ackb)

dacuntgod:

beemill:

Massachusetts State Police Issue Apology for “Racial Profiling Saves Lives” Bumper Sticker, But Not Before Lying About It

Massachusetts State Police issued an apology Monday for a bumper sticker on one of their police cruisers that read: “Racial Profiling Saves Lives,” but not before lying about it.

Boston resident Chris Kantos, was walking Sunday morning and came across on official police cruiser, number 1183, and noticed an odd bumper sticker on it.

Kantos tweeted this image out immediately.

Can anyone help me comprehend this @MassStatePolice bumper parked in Boston? Vandalism I hope? cc: @MassGovernor pic.twitter.com/Gm5XNtFRA1

— Chris Kantos (@chriskantos) August 25, 2014

Instead of apologizing immediately, Boston PD removed the sticker and published a second image of the cruiser with no bumper sticker. Then accused Kantos of photoshopping the image.

.@chriskantos @MassGovernor Unknown to Tpr assigned cruiser, we checked immediately. No bumper sticker.#photoshopfail pic.twitter.com/k4DcTJfngI

— Mass State Police (@MassStatePolice) August 25, 2014

“Why on earth would I photoshop something like that?” Kantos asked on Twitter.

read more: http://thefreethoughtproject.com/police-issue-apology-racial-profiling-saves-lives-bumper-sticker-lying/

*sigh*

(via hellsatmyfeet)